RACE FOR LIFE! Personal challange

 Hi there! A personal challenge and a MARK of achievements. I had decided last year at the Race Fo Life event that personally I will run it this year! I was stunned by all the amazing messages and the general awareness of people in UK towards breast cancer. I had lost a dear friend or two in the massive battle against Breast Cancer and on the day of my race for life this year I stumbled over an acquaintance who watched on the race with tears in eyes having found out she also has breast cancer. I was so sad....and it made me realise more and more women suffer and I can do something about it...yes I can. I can do something about my LIFE (and this is my personal challenge and has always been) and I can do something for those whom I love and are generally around me.

 I had come a long way! I had breast surgery in February and Sunday May 18th 2014, I HAD COMPLETED ANOTHER DREAM!:) I RAN 5 km and completed the race with 34:48min which was such a good time. I did it all alone, same as my surgery and other personal challenges but had a brilliant husband to support me and children and also a fantastic friend and trainer Stuart Ives.

The legacy for Breast Cancer Awareness continues and I am happy to keep up the running and the personal training......! I love big goals I love doing the personal challenges and not only physical ones. I will be busy over summer training to get better at what I do as a job and that also involves some discipline. I will also concentrate on achieving other personal targets....God willing I shall be reporting of other great achievements. For now....I hope and pray one day cure to CANCER WILL BE FOUND that those who suffer will find peace and comfort and get better and overcome their ordeal. Thank you to all who supported me and cheered me on.

Back to almost normal

Hello there

Its been I think about 5 weeks possibly 6th now. I am back at work....feeling almost normal. Often forget I do not have to hunch my back and I can brave the straight back. I am enjoying the fading scars and its really interesting that things are slowly getting back to normal. I can almost sleep on my tummy and hardly ever feel any pulling or any pain. Occasionally out of no where I feel a pull or a strange sensation like stitch pain but as far as I know I don't have much stitching just glue-ing. I expect that's it now. The lines are fader and fader! if someone would have told me ages ago that this is how I would feel I would have never believed them but I do feel BRILLIANT.

I have one more visit to my amazing surgeon next week I am looking forward to see what he makes of it and see if he will cut back the threads that are still hanging:)

A few people were a little upset about how open I had been about this process perhaps consider this a little too much information...but all I can say is...if this information does hurt, upset anyone or is more than they expected I AM TRULEY SORRY and please do not feel you have to visit this site. It is my personal story and I am only sharing it with those who wanted to share in my experience. Please do not pass on this blog to third parties unless you had been given permission.

Thanks for travelling with me on this part of my LIFE JOURNEY!

Week 4

Hello! Its week 4 of since my surgery! Nothing major to report...the infection is clearing pretty nicely and I have purchased my first few bras:) Yes, one from the MS as everyone seems to love it there (I am not convinced) and two from sports shop. I must admit I am loving my whole new 36DD or 36E cup and I love being able to walk around the house without having to drag my boobs around with me:) sorry if that's graphic a little but that is how I used to feel. I never ever imagined there will be ever a day when I can walk around with no bra and my boobs will just sit there all perky and with no pain or being totally covered up ....!

 

The tops are still the ones I used before except they actually pop up and I can now wear them comfortable rather than open them up so much that I had to wear another vest top underneath to then also wear a scarf....to cover the massive cleavage and the way too unbuttoned tops. So there, I am a happy bunny cant you tell?!

 

I am experiencing a lot of itching and still only just able to sleep on my side comfortably and even often I half turn on my tummy....I can do that safely because I cross over my arms and that supports that area where the boobies are....hard to explain but sleep terribly well.

 

This is also the week I am driving properly and confidently and also returning to work....I hope I can cope and get on with it...meanwhile looks like spring has arrived and I AM VERY VERY PLEASED AND HAPPY because its been a very long depressive spring. So chinning up and looking forward to SPRING and a whole new me!

INfection

So, yap! NO this wasnt part of the plan! Week three started well...was looking forward to drive and maybe off to work...?! Instead...I am taking antibiotics and feeling very strange and vulnerable right now. All was going well...so ok a little bit of infection but really what is it that's making me so all over the place?!
Well for starters...its been incredibly emotional....I am experiencing a HIGH that of wow, this has been so good so easy and so amazing! and I am experiencing a low....I am noticing my kids being emotional, I need to rely on friends and cant do things I plan either cause I crash out or I want to sort things out around me. The balance between whats possible and impossible is like thin cotton thread...and I am stretching it BIG TIME!

So last night noticed the yellow oozing...I had a warm shallow bath and got out felt first sick then incredibly tired, I fell asleep at like 9pm....! I woke up but I could not even reach my phone felt so weak. I emailed my consultant as I wasn't sure what this was....! he responded "must see your GP first thing tomorrow and have wound cleaned and cleared and a course of antibiotics"
1. I am so so grateful for this consultant he has gone way and beyond his duty of care I love him loads for his guts his guidance and his total commitment.
2.I felt sick at the thought of having to go to my GP always seems to result in bitterness and inability to get what you need.
3. Panick....this is not meant to happen I was gona see my Romanian girls am then spend some mum time together

So this morning I went to GP and eventually got seen. GP informed me she cant clean and dress wound, the wound clinic told me they next appointment is two weeks time and well that only left the pharmacy where they informed me they don't stock plasters that big....so back to the GP to explain this is awkward...who then instructed some nurses to wash and dress the wound. They reluctantly did it and I never felt so exposed especially when one of them refused to use the obvious dressing pointed out by the other and made some strange suggestion that minimal dressing is better....

Anyways, so my husband went to BOOTS near where he works and got me a supply of plasters...right now I feel I should donate them to Thorndike drs surgery so that the next person can actually receive some help ...but I might need them myself. I hope and pray no one else needs pads these next few days as after my research its seems nothing is available locally. I guess this reminded me of times when I lived in communism when we used cotton wool and such and everything depended on who you knew and sourcing things was just the biggest mission ever.

So when home with the antibiotics I took my dose and went to bed. I slept 2 and half hours and felt drained as ever. I am now gona take some time out. I am gona go incognito for a few days...I want to rest, spend time with family and enjoy March 8th International Women;s Day!

I will check in beginning of next week! Have a nice weekend!

Two weeks MILESTONE

 So plasters have come off after I had decided to bath and check what state these beauties are in! I was expecting I must admit at least a few leaks or wet areas but nope all seems to be finely sorted. I bought loads of plasters so I had stuck some on as its weird not having that padding and protection?! I think its strange to look at it these ways. I don't remember my nipples being so dark wonder if this is some hormonal thing?! I cant wait to see what cup size I am and I really must not continue to eat like a pig or else I will have nice boobs and fat belly to say the least.

Sgtrange to think two weeks ago today I was blissfully unaware of what I was to do and how my life was gona change. And it bloody did change, To ever think of walking around without a bra was out the question but this is great stuff. It was worth all the hard work and all the "pain" ! Talking about pain it really did not hurt at all. Don't know if it was Mr. Kasem's magic or something but my mum, JOnathan , my ML and so on are all telling me off I do most things around the house....and I love that there is no real restriction as I imagined it. I thought I won't be able to sleep for weeks. I only felt that way the first week....now two weeks later on my sides too! I cant yet sleep on my belly which is one of my fav way of sleeping but I do sleep and that is important. I even went to work this week for two hours one evening and I managed it. I had attended my supervision and although a bit green or airy I think I managed ok. So...one more week of rest as Dr said and then will try and get back to work!...the start running and walking again and getting in shape for summer....yay!
For now rest and getting healing well under way! That is my mission. And since my darling mum has come to my rescue once again this next week will be relaxing with her and enjoying the hopefully sunny March!

I thought this op wont happen til Easter ...by Easter I will be ...oh cant wait!

Pre op one day!

I have revisited some photos of my pre op! Sadly I lost the ones I took right before....but hey ho this will do although it does not do justice to me as to be fair this is a very flattering swimsuit and this is after 2 years of heavy training, swimming and walk/running at least 2x a week. As I previously said the difficulty was mainly with my back and my shoulders. If you look close at the top of my shoulder  its is much smaller and thiner than the rest of my body. My bust has been so difficult to manage that I was getting really big dents in my shoulders and constant migraines. There was over 1kg of boobage so to wear a normal bra was out the question. I know I know I heard it before from people and friends "but it looks ok"...."they are not that big"....."its just in your head" well, the size was 36JJ and yeah if I did not care what I wore of how I looked I could have easily laughed it off but actually being top heavy has been a massive burden in my life.

I thought this photo will do until I find another one that really does show you just how it really affected me.

I am so very very happy with what has been offered to me. Its not easy but its ok. I have daily headaches still not sure what causes them but I guess its also this stinky cold that I got (guess my immune system is telling me....hey you kicked my ass I will kick yours)....
Otherwise is great having my mum here and boys have been sooo good! I feel truly blessed and so glad things are ok. Last night I am aware I spent a lot of the nite sleeping on my side and I was okish with occasional wakes and moves I managed a nite of sleep with no sleeping tablets or such.

So I am a happy bunny still maybe just need to get this cold over be back at work and get my routine going again!! Don't forget if you read my blog please don't share as this is my own personal account and I have invited you to read because I think you care about me and to aid communication.

Thanks!

Day 8 and beggining of spring!

(here with one of my best friends at Bwater...yesterday I probably wasn't really ready to go out but I needed some change of scenery, Iveta always my supporter and she has been the one that I started training with....and also has been my amazing friend)

 

Hi there! Today has been a very happy day! Boys have gone back to school which allowed me to just potter at my own pace around the house...by pottering I mean I was able to just be! no nagging no feeling guilty no getting stressed that something is not quite how I imagined just relax and potter.
I had done a lot of phone calls and enjoyed coffee in the glorious sunshine in garden with mum. I even have breakfast with husband who has once again sacrificed a day of his holiday to be home and see kids off to school and nursery and later take me to see my FAVOURITE CONSULTANT OF ALL MR KASEM!

So, the day flew by I even made it to BQ (yes yes I know crazy me) to get a few plants for my garden as I cant wait for spring to come and need to help it hurry along. Mum washed all windows and I am delighted that the gardens are being treated my my mum!!!:)

So, then we set of to see my CONSULTANT!  - it wasn't very exciting having like 6-7 people there watching me but who cares....I had been looking forward for this moment since my op and lets see what happened....! My gorgeous and lovely consultant has greeted me with great smile, he is not a chatter box as such but hs massive smile and honesty does it all. He asked me how I was...I explained. Then I took top layers off and he did the rest....yap all plasters off....threads cut away and TA DA there was me looking like a 17 years old?!  - but really nipples in the right place, no swelling as such, no bruising or discharge just nice almost healed bobbies. More grinning more smiling and a lor of chatting....10 mins later one firm handshake all my questions answered I was out the door sporting my new massive grin!!! yay! Long live this wonderful surgeon and God bless his working hands. He has made a massive difference in my life and for that I will always love him. (I hope he won't be scared away by this when he reads it as you know....I am just not very "English" Sir, I am very very outgoing and considering the job I do very un-boundaried when it comes to my own life...I feel totally at ease with both my shortcomings and my successes....and that I think its just who I am)

Anyways, so in short:
- driving in 2-3 weeks
-back to work 2-3 weeks (but I am gona start this week with one evening at youthcentre)
- running and cycling and exercising 4 weeks
-swimming around 6 weeks but I am happy to wait til the summer

Medication:
-no medication needed as hardly any pain (I had confessed I only took paracetamol for the first 5 days 1 every 5-6 hours and ibuprofen 2-3 days 1 every 6 hours)
- painkillers if needed when needed

So now here some photos!

 I know it looks different doesn't it?

 Something just for support but not a real bra yet! have not worn one of these for don't even know how long! Actually feels funny as I never imagined I could get away with an un underwired half west top kind a top! So thank you Mr. Kasem! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

 Yeah I know sporting my PJ is not kind a something to show but what you're looking at here is the loss of over 10 kgs think that's over 2 stones and a happy me!

Because when you really really want something and you put your mind to it! When you know that you can actually do it....then you have the best possible surgeon and supportive friends and family YES YOU CAN ONLY SUCCEED! For me up to this very day the bestest and most amazing thing was NO PAIN!! NO PAIN AT ALL! (that I mean through surgery) NO I never dieted a day....it was all through exercise, healthy eating and a lot of hard work! And yeah I know I am boasting about it cause it is a life changing event and I hope it lasts....oh forgot to ask my gorgeous wonderful surgeon what happens if I piled back on my 2 stones (God forbid).....I can see him smile and smack me over the head:) not really I would do that myself! so all in all a great day! thank you God!!

Oh and just a little MASSIVE note to say that during this process a friend of mine who no longer lives in UK but also had same op as me was MY BIGGEST CHEERER and HELP AND SUPPORT! I won't mention her name as she might not want to but THANK YOU A!