Its February and its cold but today the sun is shining. I slept amazingly totally out of it perhaps still the anaesthetic?! Jonathan woke me up a few times snoring and also Zac had a disturbed night...so morning was slow. Got up gave boys breakfast...set on the sofa then left them with my mum and came back to bed. I woke again at 10am. I am almost flat on my back one pillow don't know if that is good or bad, Only paracetamol and no real pain just discomfort some itchiness across where the plasters are. Otherwise well. I woke at 10am in the end and spent some time around the boys while mum went shopping tried to hoover and do a little tidy up but did not do well...still hurts if I do anything like bending etc. So will have to take it slow. Boys are always happy to see me, Zac keeps telling me "I love you mummy" and Reuben is eager to ask me for treats:) they had been brilliant playing on their Ipads, cars, outside on bikes and scooters and Elena Vasile came with Nik and Andy and they had gona out to castle grounds too. I ate and went to bed again I cant believe I slept like a log from 2-4pm I vaguely heard kids come back Elena shushing the kids but that was all...when I awoke again I realised they were gone.
Mum making yummy food and its irresistible however I must say each day a card or a box of chocks come and makes me feel so privileged. I have some fab friends....although have not made it OPEN I think most people know I had the op by now. I had some horrible people say I was taking advantage of NHS and that I will experience horrible pain but although it was unexpected and thought me to keep my mouth shut especially when I cant and wont feel like fighting....I am so happy I had done what I did I had come through my own journey of discovery and yeah I am privileged to feel no pain and yes not had to pay a penny for it all.
Particularly one person has marked me with their comments when she said "I am amazed you succeeded to get your treatment free on OUR NHS, people who are more severely in pain then you are and who are born and bread British cant get these facilities yet you who are foreigners get so much out of our system" - there was no point in saying anything first of all because ignorance is something that cant be helped it seems secondly because this person has never understood or accepted immigration or multicultural co existence. In her mind this is Britain, we should only do British things, should only eat British things and finally should only speak the proper way. So to tell her that I am here legally by right as I married a Bristish person, that I have became British by right some 10 years ago, that I have contributed all my working life to the National Health by paying all my dutifully fees and NI - would have fallen on dead ears as she knows nothing of that. Also to say that I had to go through a rigorous panel and fulfil a long list of criteria to get this op was also waste of time. Instead I smiled the same smile I see the nurses smile in my ward at the hospital when some patients in pain said "stop saying a minute when you don't come for half hour, or don't know what you saying bloody foreigner"....they smiled and I smile cause yeah its a different form of pain which maybe has no cure...which maybe has no remedy....I smile cause I think.....of all the hardships we had to come through and actually I smile cause people always find something they can yap about or go on about making themselves and others around them miserable.
Instead today looking at the amazing sunshine, acknowledging I am loved and cared for (I have far more friends then foes) and thanking God for his mercy and kindness which surrounds us....for a pain free and well supported recovery....I am making a stand that I will try and be positive, happy, smiley and encouraging to those around me try and make a difference and keep up the great work I had done and keep achieving!
Time to bath the kids....well me sitting and watching them bath...then a movie night until daddy arrives. Tomorrow hope for a gentle walk...maybe hair wash?!
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